The family tradition

My father’s side of the family is split into two sides, the cool side and the dork side. The split is like this. My immediate family, the five of us, and my Uncle Mark and Cousin Danny and his fiancé are on one side. My Uncle Brian and his family of five and my Aunt Joann and her family of three are on the other side. I also have an Uncle Chris and his family but they live in Florida so they are Australia. They never get in a war and they live to far away. My mother’s side of the family is fake. She is an only child so we pretend that her friend that my grandmother is living with is her real family. So in other words I have the most dysfunctional family I have ever met in my entire life. This probably has a lot of influence on how neurotic I can be sometimes.
So Thanksgiving usually happens like this. Everyone gathers at a specific house. It varies from year to year. The cool side talks to themselves. We talk about stories that happened in the past like the time we all went to the Steelers vs. Jets game and how much fun we had. The dork side talks about work and how stressful it is and basically negative things. When it is finally time to eat, for about the first 10 minutes it is complete silence. The two sides do not really want to talk to each other. This is not because we hate each other it is just awkward. We do not know how to start a conversation and we never know which way the conversation is going to end up. Every year it never fails. I am always the one to cross over to the other side and say “So Samantha, how is school?” and then we start to talk. Sometimes I like to mix it up with a funny story that happened to me. I figured if I gave everyone the same thing to talk about it might be easier. After dinner is done the two sides split again and talk about what they have just experienced. “I can’t believe she wore that” or “It figures he wouldn’t go to college.” It is a viscous cycle but our family functions best that way. When Christmas roles around it is like take two but this time we prepare ourselves with what to talk about, usually the younger kids.

This year was completely different. I stayed home. By the time I finished work there would be no point to go to my Aunts house because the would be on the third stage already. I had no Thanksgiving, was locked out of my own house, and stepped in dog poop trying to break into my house. When my family came home I asked them what happened. Everyone said “nothing” then walked away into their own parts of the house and called it a day. I should have expected that. I then asked my mom what they talked about and she said “well it was defiantly different not having you there but then again it was the same”. I can tell that my mom was sad I was not there but she knew I was being responsible with my job. In a way I was glad I stayed home because finally I felt that the pressure was off my shoulders to combine the two sides. My mom was right though my family will never change and in a way I am glad for that.

This may seem like we are not satisfied with each other or the situation. This is not the case. In fact I love my whole family I would not trade them for anything. Each person is unique in their own ways. Without a doubt my family could be the next sitcom. We are not an open family. We do not talk about feelings or even say I love you. My Uncle Brian does not even hug me; he always gives me a handshake. This may seem like it could be dissatisfying but we get down to the point. We do not extend any conversation that does not have to be. Sometimes the in-laws which are mostly women do not understand this fact. It can create tension and sometimes frustration but if you are a “true Wahler” this is what you like. I assume it is because most of the family members are males. This goes back to my theory in my previous post of how men function in conversation. If you need to a little more understanding of how my family works just think of the Home Alone movie. I will leave you with this.

You may not be able to choose your family but you can choose who you sit next to at the table. This makes all the difference in the world.

Who did I sit next to? No one, and for once it was the best time I had at a Holiday function.