My father’s side of the family is split into two sides, the cool side and the dork side. The split is like this. My immediate family, the five of us, and my Uncle Mark and Cousin Danny and his fiancé are on one side. My Uncle Brian and his family of five and my Aunt Joann and her family of three are on the other side. I also have an Uncle Chris and his family but they live in Florida so they are Australia. They never get in a war and they live to far away. My mother’s side of the family is fake. She is an only child so we pretend that her friend that my grandmother is living with is her real family. So in other words I have the most dysfunctional family I have ever met in my entire life. This probably has a lot of influence on how neurotic I can be sometimes.
So Thanksgiving usually happens like this. Everyone gathers at a specific house. It varies from year to year. The cool side talks to themselves. We talk about stories that happened in the past like the time we all went to the Steelers vs. Jets game and how much fun we had. The dork side talks about work and how stressful it is and basically negative things. When it is finally time to eat, for about the first 10 minutes it is complete silence. The two sides do not really want to talk to each other. This is not because we hate each other it is just awkward. We do not know how to start a conversation and we never know which way the conversation is going to end up. Every year it never fails. I am always the one to cross over to the other side and say “So Samantha, how is school?” and then we start to talk. Sometimes I like to mix it up with a funny story that happened to me. I figured if I gave everyone the same thing to talk about it might be easier. After dinner is done the two sides split again and talk about what they have just experienced. “I can’t believe she wore that” or “It figures he wouldn’t go to college.” It is a viscous cycle but our family functions best that way. When Christmas roles around it is like take two but this time we prepare ourselves with what to talk about, usually the younger kids.
This year was completely different. I stayed home. By the time I finished work there would be no point to go to my Aunts house because the would be on the third stage already. I had no Thanksgiving, was locked out of my own house, and stepped in dog poop trying to break into my house. When my family came home I asked them what happened. Everyone said “nothing” then walked away into their own parts of the house and called it a day. I should have expected that. I then asked my mom what they talked about and she said “well it was defiantly different not having you there but then again it was the same”. I can tell that my mom was sad I was not there but she knew I was being responsible with my job. In a way I was glad I stayed home because finally I felt that the pressure was off my shoulders to combine the two sides. My mom was right though my family will never change and in a way I am glad for that.
This may seem like we are not satisfied with each other or the situation. This is not the case. In fact I love my whole family I would not trade them for anything. Each person is unique in their own ways. Without a doubt my family could be the next sitcom. We are not an open family. We do not talk about feelings or even say I love you. My Uncle Brian does not even hug me; he always gives me a handshake. This may seem like it could be dissatisfying but we get down to the point. We do not extend any conversation that does not have to be. Sometimes the in-laws which are mostly women do not understand this fact. It can create tension and sometimes frustration but if you are a “true Wahler” this is what you like. I assume it is because most of the family members are males. This goes back to my theory in my previous post of how men function in conversation. If you need to a little more understanding of how my family works just think of the Home Alone movie. I will leave you with this.
You may not be able to choose your family but you can choose who you sit next to at the table. This makes all the difference in the world.
Who did I sit next to? No one, and for once it was the best time I had at a Holiday function.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Men vs. Women
The easiest way to break this down is this.
Men talk more than women.This is false they talk just as much. Men seem to talk when they are interested. The problem seems to be men and women are interested in different things. Women like to talk about their relationships and things that revolve around them. Men like to talk about things not related to them such as sports.
Men are more likely to interrupt women than to interrupt other men. In some ways this could be true. Again depending on the circumstance this could change. This could be partly because men find it hard to follow what women are saying. It is not that they do not listen but while they are men are picking and choosing the information therefor getting lost and interrupting women to have them start over.
During conversations, women spend more time looking at their partner than men do. This one could be true or false. I feel if this was completely true then men would not have a problem talking on the phone. Women would be the ones against it because they can not see the other person.
Female managers communicate more emotional openness and drama than male managers. In all of my experience male managers get down to the point. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3A-Z5sRwgLMJust give them the facts. Female managers let their emotions take control of themselves. Still this would be false because female managers keep it bottled up and use it to get back at whoever was bothering them later. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjRorsUKGwY&feature=related
Men not only control the content of conversations, they also work harder in keeping the conversations going. Do men like to control the conversation? Not really, but they do take control as to when the conversation ends. They do not try to keep the conversation going they try to solve the issue. If there is not a problem they like to get down to the point of the conversation in a timely manner.
When people here generic words such as "mankind" and "he" they respond inclusively indicating that the terms apply to both sexes. This is true. For the most part people understand that it means everyone not just men. The only people who really ever have a problem with it are those who are looking to fight over every little thing such as the extreme feminist groups.
Women are more likely than men to disclose information about intimate personal information. This is also true. Because society has developed the idea of men must be strong they often have difficulty disclosing information that may cause them to show emotion. Where as in society women are presumed to show a vast array of emotions and are allowed to be more nurturing and compassionate.
Women use less personal space than men. In America greetings between two men are done with a handshake. In France greetings are done with a kiss to the cheek. Where as between different countries it doesn't really differ. Women are more comfortable standing closer to each other. As far as women and men interfering in each others personal space it seems as though it depends on the relationship between the two.
When a male speaks he is listened to closer than a female speaker. Males have historically been the more charismatic speakers such as Mohammad Ali, Dr.MLK Jr., Hitler and many others, because they have always been given positions of power and women have been thought to be the less dominant of the two. Yet in today's society the teaching career has always been a female dominant society. In my opinion I learn much easier from a man.
Women are more likely to answer questions that are not addressed to them. I would have to say this is true. Since women have developed a gossip culture they are more likely to easy drop on conversations not addressed to them. On the other hand men only pay attention to information that pertains to them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0JPZiGInbg
Men talk more than women.This is false they talk just as much. Men seem to talk when they are interested. The problem seems to be men and women are interested in different things. Women like to talk about their relationships and things that revolve around them. Men like to talk about things not related to them such as sports.
Men are more likely to interrupt women than to interrupt other men. In some ways this could be true. Again depending on the circumstance this could change. This could be partly because men find it hard to follow what women are saying. It is not that they do not listen but while they are men are picking and choosing the information therefor getting lost and interrupting women to have them start over.
During conversations, women spend more time looking at their partner than men do. This one could be true or false. I feel if this was completely true then men would not have a problem talking on the phone. Women would be the ones against it because they can not see the other person.
Female managers communicate more emotional openness and drama than male managers. In all of my experience male managers get down to the point. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3A-Z5sRwgLMJust give them the facts. Female managers let their emotions take control of themselves. Still this would be false because female managers keep it bottled up and use it to get back at whoever was bothering them later. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjRorsUKGwY&feature=related
Men not only control the content of conversations, they also work harder in keeping the conversations going. Do men like to control the conversation? Not really, but they do take control as to when the conversation ends. They do not try to keep the conversation going they try to solve the issue. If there is not a problem they like to get down to the point of the conversation in a timely manner.
When people here generic words such as "mankind" and "he" they respond inclusively indicating that the terms apply to both sexes. This is true. For the most part people understand that it means everyone not just men. The only people who really ever have a problem with it are those who are looking to fight over every little thing such as the extreme feminist groups.
Women are more likely than men to disclose information about intimate personal information. This is also true. Because society has developed the idea of men must be strong they often have difficulty disclosing information that may cause them to show emotion. Where as in society women are presumed to show a vast array of emotions and are allowed to be more nurturing and compassionate.
Women use less personal space than men. In America greetings between two men are done with a handshake. In France greetings are done with a kiss to the cheek. Where as between different countries it doesn't really differ. Women are more comfortable standing closer to each other. As far as women and men interfering in each others personal space it seems as though it depends on the relationship between the two.
When a male speaks he is listened to closer than a female speaker. Males have historically been the more charismatic speakers such as Mohammad Ali, Dr.MLK Jr., Hitler and many others, because they have always been given positions of power and women have been thought to be the less dominant of the two. Yet in today's society the teaching career has always been a female dominant society. In my opinion I learn much easier from a man.
Women are more likely to answer questions that are not addressed to them. I would have to say this is true. Since women have developed a gossip culture they are more likely to easy drop on conversations not addressed to them. On the other hand men only pay attention to information that pertains to them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0JPZiGInbg
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The Notebook
Here in American it seems that we strive to find the "American Dream." The "American Dream" to me is represented in the movie The Notebook. The thing that I want most in live is feeling the love of my significant other. When I watch the movie I become so overwhelmed with emotion. I cry, because I am filled with so much sadness, emptiness and loneliness that by the end of the movie i can only hope that one day I can have all those same emotions and love that the characters have. Noah and Allie had a romantic relationship filled with passion, happiness, craziness, and especially love. Here is a clip in case you are not familiar with the movie. http://youtube.com/watch?v=S3G3fILPQAU
When I see people in the street especially a couple displaying this type of affection (as shown in the clip) I get so angry. Not specifically at them but what they have and what I don't have. I become hurt and frustrated so much that I want to run over to them and punch them in the hear for being able to express those emotions and most important because they have one another. Do I actually do it? N0, although if I really had no control over myself that is what I would do. Just like Noah I become so bottled up that I become a completely different person.
I tend to think of myself as firecracker. I am so full of emotion and passion and I am just waiting to for that person who has the same firecracker qualities and can not wait until 4Th of July (when we meet) to explode into this amazing piece of chemistry. Sometimes I believe that my expectations are to high, I tend to jump right in and i am willing to hand anyone the torch to make me explode, but when they use a wet match it tends to make me fizzle out and all I am left with is the pain of the burst.
I often struggle because I know I am capable of expressing these emotions but I dwell on past experiences and become discouraged asking myself, Will I ever find my firecracker? When will my notebook start? It is easy to say I can just fix this by not dwelling on the past but when it comes down to actually not doing it or moving forward I find it a lot more difficult. I find it best to not express any of these emotions and disguise my true feelings behind kind eyes and a friendly smile.
When I see people in the street especially a couple displaying this type of affection (as shown in the clip) I get so angry. Not specifically at them but what they have and what I don't have. I become hurt and frustrated so much that I want to run over to them and punch them in the hear for being able to express those emotions and most important because they have one another. Do I actually do it? N0, although if I really had no control over myself that is what I would do. Just like Noah I become so bottled up that I become a completely different person.
I tend to think of myself as firecracker. I am so full of emotion and passion and I am just waiting to for that person who has the same firecracker qualities and can not wait until 4Th of July (when we meet) to explode into this amazing piece of chemistry. Sometimes I believe that my expectations are to high, I tend to jump right in and i am willing to hand anyone the torch to make me explode, but when they use a wet match it tends to make me fizzle out and all I am left with is the pain of the burst.
I often struggle because I know I am capable of expressing these emotions but I dwell on past experiences and become discouraged asking myself, Will I ever find my firecracker? When will my notebook start? It is easy to say I can just fix this by not dwelling on the past but when it comes down to actually not doing it or moving forward I find it a lot more difficult. I find it best to not express any of these emotions and disguise my true feelings behind kind eyes and a friendly smile.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Success
What are you perceptions of success? Threw out the years I have observed, listened, and thought about those who say they are successful and those who really are. So lets define success. The dictionary states it as achievement of something intended or desired. I have come to realize that success can only be measured by those who do the achieving. For example since Wednesday I have been running over 102 fever and it even went over103 at times. Success for me was when I was finally able to eat one slice of peach and keep it down. On a normal day many of us, including myself, don't even think about eating as a successful thing but for me this week I was proud of myself.
How do you measure whether or not someone is successful? One person can not be successful all the time and in everything. Donald Trump is known for starting his own business and making himself "successful" in the business world. In actuality his father gave him money to start his business he never earned it himself. I'm not saying he did not know what to do with that money, because he did, but I'm sure he would have had a much harder time and would not have been as "successful" if he had to earn his starter money first. We could also look at his attitude, his people skills, his passion for humans vs. wealth, his family, or even just bringing it back to the beginning with his body.
Would I consider him successful? I would want him to be my business partner so yes for the business end but not really for anything else. Over all I would not consider him successful. I would define someone being successful when they have happiness and a well balanced life full of family, friends, money, career, and love. I also feel that it is an individual concept. Who am I to judge someone and say they are not successful but someone else is. That is my success and I will follow that. Nobody else has to follow my success outline but I will. I concentrate on my success only and I'm not worried about what other people are doing. When I achieve my success I will be happy and when others achieve their success they will be happy.
To what extent would I give something up in order to be more successful? Well according to my definition I would already have everything and would not have to give something up. Also, if someone was already successful why do you need more? Stop being greedy and just be happy with what you have.
Can success be contagious? The only way you will have success is if you really want it. If you do you will do everything in your power to get it. If not you won't work as hard. I can not have success for myself and then cough on you and you will have it. The only thing that is contagious is my attitude about it. Then again, you need to want it to get it.
Everyone has their demands and everyone has their problems. The best thing to do is focus on yourself and not worry about anyone else and stop comparing. Be your own success not someone who follows other people.
How do you measure whether or not someone is successful? One person can not be successful all the time and in everything. Donald Trump is known for starting his own business and making himself "successful" in the business world. In actuality his father gave him money to start his business he never earned it himself. I'm not saying he did not know what to do with that money, because he did, but I'm sure he would have had a much harder time and would not have been as "successful" if he had to earn his starter money first. We could also look at his attitude, his people skills, his passion for humans vs. wealth, his family, or even just bringing it back to the beginning with his body.
Would I consider him successful? I would want him to be my business partner so yes for the business end but not really for anything else. Over all I would not consider him successful. I would define someone being successful when they have happiness and a well balanced life full of family, friends, money, career, and love. I also feel that it is an individual concept. Who am I to judge someone and say they are not successful but someone else is. That is my success and I will follow that. Nobody else has to follow my success outline but I will. I concentrate on my success only and I'm not worried about what other people are doing. When I achieve my success I will be happy and when others achieve their success they will be happy.
To what extent would I give something up in order to be more successful? Well according to my definition I would already have everything and would not have to give something up. Also, if someone was already successful why do you need more? Stop being greedy and just be happy with what you have.
Can success be contagious? The only way you will have success is if you really want it. If you do you will do everything in your power to get it. If not you won't work as hard. I can not have success for myself and then cough on you and you will have it. The only thing that is contagious is my attitude about it. Then again, you need to want it to get it.
Everyone has their demands and everyone has their problems. The best thing to do is focus on yourself and not worry about anyone else and stop comparing. Be your own success not someone who follows other people.
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